The London Underground was in meltdown today. I was forced to walk from Baker Street to Rathbone Place. I had to get in on time or I'd be toast. A lot of people were out on the street. A short guy in skinny jeans walked very slowly in front of me near Portland Place. I could see he was brandishing something in his left hand by the way his elbow hung out. He was giving it his full attention.
'Hey Dickhead', thought I. 'I'm late for work. Shove that smartphone up your arse and step out of my way!!'
When I walked past, I saw that he was holding not a phone, but a paper tray holding three cups of hot coffee.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Erstmal zu Penny

The supermarket Penny is the budget supermarket for those on a tight budget. Their slogan is 'Erstmal zu Penny' which means it's the first port of call for the sensible German shopper. In my experience, it's also the the first port of call for the clinically insane German shopper. Hopefully, there isn't something in the food there. I was in line at the counter with a carton of milk, a bag of apples and toilet paper (irrelevant but true). I had placed my basket in the stack by the gum rack before emptying the conten ts onto the conveyor belt. Before I had grabbed the milk out of the basket, the tiny Indian woman behind me put her basket on top of mine. I didn't need to say anything. She saw that her basket didn't fit snugly in the one underneath. She lifted it up and I grabbed my milk quickly out of the way. She smiled sheepishly and apologised. No problem, I insisted. This brief moment, it seems, broke the ice between us. Unfortunately, waiting
Read more