I came to work on a Saturday. What dedication. I've got the whole building to myself; all 4 floors. I have the stereo playing loud and there's nobody complaining. It's wonderful.
Crucially, I don't have to wait for the toilet to be free. I have it to myself. I went down just a moment ago while Bridge Over Troubled Waters played on the stereo. I sang along to it as I skipped down the steps and into the Men's room. I sang as I lifted the seat and unzipped my fly. I sang my heart out.
# SAIL ON SILVER GIRL, SAIL ON BY!! !#
And that's when I heard a cough in the other cubicle.

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