Last night, I dreamt that I was 18 years old. I was in a place I'd never seen before and talking to people I'd never met before. An old man told me to take my time deciding on what I should study in university.

'You have your whole life ahead of you' he said. I felt like I could fly.

I woke up, 20 years older and full of regrets.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Erstmal zu Penny

The supermarket Penny is the budget supermarket for those on a tight budget. Their slogan is 'Erstmal zu Penny' which means it's the first port of call for the sensible German shopper. In my experience, it's also the the first port of call for the clinically insane German shopper. Hopefully, there isn't something in the food there. I was in line at the counter with a carton of milk, a bag of apples and toilet paper (irrelevant but true). I had placed my basket in the stack by the gum rack before emptying the conten ts onto the conveyor belt. Before I had grabbed the milk out of the basket, the tiny Indian woman behind me put her basket on top of mine. I didn't need to say anything. She saw that her basket didn't fit snugly in the one underneath. She lifted it up and I grabbed my milk quickly out of the way. She smiled sheepishly and apologised. No problem, I insisted. This brief moment, it seems, broke the ice between us. Unfortunately, waiting...
Read more
I am a collossal hypochondriac and a germophobe. For this reason, the universe always sits the coughing wheezing snifflers in front of or next to me on trains and buses (and airplanes). Today I found myself in front of a violent throat clearer. Everytime he did it, I shook in my seat. But that wasn't it. As he read his free paper, he picked his nose. Not just lightly or fleetingly. He was digging deep. He was fracking for shale gas deep. Having satisfied himself, he rolled his quarry between thumb and index and wiped it on the seat. Now I don't want to sit in a train or read a free paper or even leave the house ever again.
Read more

Bloody Terrorists

So now the German Christmas markets are being targeted. The loveliest and most heart-warming tradition I've ever experienced has been tarnished in a deliberate bid to incite outrage, in a country already ill at ease. There may not be a war on Islam, but a certain faction of Islam is pulling all the stops to bring it about. An unreformed doctrine from the dark ages, intolerant of the slightest concession to modernity is baiting a (reasonably) resentful population. If a secular European is thick headed and easy to manipulate, he will vote for UKIP, Front Nationale or AFD. If a Muslim is thick headed and easy to manipulate, he will be talked into ramming vehicles into innocent crowds to please a vindictive and insane deity. Ecce homo. I suppose that from now, a common feature of the Christmas Market will be the sight of fully armed patrols at every turn and concrete barriers around the perimeters. A night out with the kids in the local square will be shadowed with suspense. Th...
Read more