The London Underground was in meltdown today. I was forced to walk from Baker Street to Rathbone Place. I had to get in on time or I'd be toast. A lot of people were out on the street. A short guy in skinny jeans walked very slowly in front of me near Portland Place. I could see he was brandishing something in his left hand by the way his elbow hung out. He was giving it his full attention.
'Hey Dickhead', thought I. 'I'm late for work. Shove that smartphone up your arse and step out of my way!!'
When I walked past, I saw that he was holding not a phone, but a paper tray holding three cups of hot coffee.

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