One cubicle was engaged. The other had a bowl full of toilet paper. A
very thick blanket of the stuff, obviously concealing an embarrassing
body of work. I couldn't take a leak before flushing it away. I would
have risked back-splash. I pulled the flush. The result was a maelstrom
of faeces and soggy toilet paper. It rose to the very top. I ran. I
yelled to the occupier of the other cubicle to run for his life. He
didn't make it. I could hear his blood curdling screams as I ran to the
top floor where I work. I'm still desperately holding the pee in. I dare
not return. It's gonna have to be McDonald's at lunchtime.
Erstmal zu Penny
The supermarket Penny is the budget supermarket for those on a tight budget. Their slogan is 'Erstmal zu Penny' which means it's the first port of call for the sensible German shopper. In my experience, it's also the the first port of call for the clinically insane German shopper. Hopefully, there isn't something in the food there. I was in line at the counter with a carton of milk, a bag of apples and toilet paper (irrelevant but true). I had placed my basket in the stack by the gum rack before emptying the conten ts onto the conveyor belt. Before I had grabbed the milk out of the basket, the tiny Indian woman behind me put her basket on top of mine. I didn't need to say anything. She saw that her basket didn't fit snugly in the one underneath. She lifted it up and I grabbed my milk quickly out of the way. She smiled sheepishly and apologised. No problem, I insisted. This brief moment, it seems, broke the ice between us. Unfortunately, waiting...
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